Summary: SG-1 are out of their depth. Really, really out of their depth.
Author's Notes: I hate Marcus Rowland.
Grace slammed the refrigerator door shut behind her, and stalked off to her bedroom, her eyes flashing yellow. ”I will have my revenge for this affront! Once I’m fully dressed, that is…” she mumbled in a deep voice.
Will just ignored Grace with the ease that comes from years of practise, and turned back to Jack O’Neill and Teal’c. “No….Everything seems completely normal here. Grace is soooo not a morning person.”
Teal’c looked faintly disbelieving. O’Neill quirked one eyebrow upwards. “Well, we’re still missing one Goau’ld symbiote somewhere around here. Have none of your friends been acting oddly?”
The front door swung open, and Jack marched in, wearing a tutu.
“Only recently?” asked Will.
He turned to Jack, “Swallow anything you’re not supposed to? The nice man in uniform here would like to know. Little snake about six inches?”
Jack pouted and hugged his side. “No, Will, please stop. Stop! I think I felt one rib snap as I laughed so hard.”
He walked over and stood by Will and O’Neill. “He thinks he’s so funny. Personally, I think it’s a defence mechanism to cover up for his insecurities about being fat.”
As Will gasped, Jack ran an approving eye down O’Neill. “Now you know how to fill out a uniform. I certainly wouldn’t object to seeing you saluting, big boy.”
Grace came out of the bedroom, wearing a long flowing white dress, her eyes still flashing. Will and Jack took one look at her, and simultaneously said “No!”
Grace stopped dead in her tracks. “What?!?!”
“Honey,” sighed Karen who’d just managed to reel in through the front door that Jack had so thoughtfully left open, “White suggests virginity – and besides it clashes with all those gaudy bangles. What? Did the 80’s come back and no-one tell me?”
”I will enjoy having your guts ripped out and hung around this residence!” snarled Grace. “But first, I need to get changed.” And she ran back into the bedroom.
Karen had managed to find a chair to collapse into, without spilling her drink. Gazing upwards at Teal’c, she giggled. “You’re a big, big man, aren’t you?”
“Indeed,” said Teal’c staring impassively down at her. “O’Neill. I believe this woman is not acting in the normal fashion.”
“Well,” said Will, consideringly, “I have to admit she’s a lot quieter than normal.”
Karen looked up at Teal’c looming over her and giggled again. “I think the military want to take me away and perform all sorts of nasty experiments on my body.”
“I’ll do it! I’ll do it!” yelled Jack and performed a pirouette in his tutu over to O’Neill. “All those men in uniform….”