Summary: Anya wants her orgasms. Xander’s not there.
Length: Word count - 656
Author's Notes: For the buffyverse1000 pairings challenge.
It was all Xander’s fault.
If he wasn’t busy working, then he could be there giving her orgasms. He was very talented at it, considering they had been having sex with each other for twenty months now.
But it was the middle of the daytime on the slowest day of the week, and Anya, efficient as ever (time is money) had already performed the daily stocktake and re-supply of the Magic Box several hours back. And with the Buffybot serving behind the counter, she couldn’t even spend the time staring at all her money. There had been no customers all day, Dawn was off spending bonding time with Spike, Willow and Tara off obtaining an Amulet of Jaygds for the resurrection spell, Giles dealing with the Council and Xander wasn’t there.
It was definitely all Xander's fault. She was used to 5 orgasms a day minimum. He should be here providing her with her daily quota.
Anya walked to the front window and stared out at the street, willing new customers to enter and spend all their hard earned currency. Nothing happened. Stupid non-spending humans. Didn’t they know the economy needed them to fuel itself?
The Buffybot looked up from behind the till as Anya came back from the front. “Good afternoon, Sir/Madam,” she chirped brightly, “May I be of assistance in helping you spend your money at the Magic Box?”
It recognised her, but the broad smile remained fixed. “You are Anya. You like sex and money – lots of each. Though not necessarily at the same time. Hello, Anya.”
Anya regarded the robot as a sudden thought crossed her mind. Not just a source of free labour, but it was also highly experienced in the granting of orgasms. Anya thoughtfully checked off the list in her head of sexual positions and fetishes that she had downloaded from the internet (such a wonderful source of free information, even if there was a little too much available about sexual practices even for her tastes. But the photographs had turned out very useful in working out new ways to twist her mortal, but very supple body. Oh, and her beloved EBay, source of a thousand ways to make a profit).
Anyway, Lesbian and/or bisexual women. A common fantasy of males, Xander’s age in particular. Very suitable for a wedding present for Xander, with no wrapping involved and about the only thing left to do on the list, but until now, unavailable. There was no way in hell that she was going to risk any fluking with Willow, and Tara was just too boring.
But the Bot now…
“Bot, do you still have your sexual programming installed?” she asked bluntly.
“Why yes, Anya,” the bot beamed, “All 39 gig of information and sexual positions that Warren installed in me are all intact.”
Good, thought Anya. “Is all this information solely heterosexual?”
“Why no,” beamed the bot, “As Willow is recently gay, I have all lesbian sexual techniques programmed in as well. Willow was most pleased when I informed her of that.”
Anya crossed the room and stood behind the counter, suddenly grateful for the long skirt she wore that day. “I shall stand here and watch for customers,” she announced, “Kneel down and demonstrate these skills on me.”
“Ooooo! This’ll be fun!” exclaimed the bot, and dove right in.
Two hours later, no customers had come. Anya, on the other hand, had. Several times.
Clutching onto the till for strength, she happily panted for breath. And that was tomorrow’s orgasm quota filled as well. Xander tonight would be sheer profit.
At her feet, the Buffybot looked up happily at her, Anya’s panties now draped over one shoulder of Buffy’s second-best outfit. The best vibrator ever.
A thought crossed her mind. Maybe she should locate this Warren and go into business with him rather than Giles. Building sexbots for fun and business. Perhaps even a Xander model to start with?
Oooo… maybe a Gilesbot AND a Xanderbot?