Donkey Kong is "lame." Tetris is "boring." Space Invaders "needs a superbomb or something." And why play Pong when it's more fun to "jump up and down on one foot"? Hey, save your irate letters--we didn't say this stuff. The nostalgia-nuking commentary is from our original Child's Play story in EGM's November 2003 issue, in which we had kids of the PlayStation generation playtest classic games from the '70s and '80s. Mortified gaming grown-ups wrote in to call it blasphemy--and call these outspoken scamps a name that rhymes with "brittle truckers."
Original batch of games here.
Second batch of games here.