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Sentimental yet sardonic [userpic]

FIC : Faster Than A Speeding Bullet (20 minutes with Giles) PG13

November 23rd, 2004 (03:29 am)
tired

current mood: tired

Dedicated to Tara Keezer on her birthday. Many Happy Returns!!!



Author : Booster
Rating : PG-13
Summary: All Giles wants is to sort out the Council’s accounts. Unfortunately, he’s in Metropolis, so face it – he doesn’t stand a chance. (Superman crossover. Part of Jinni’s 20 minutes with Giles Challenge.)
Disclaimer : Buffy and the gang belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. Superman and Metallo are copyright DC Comics. I own nothing.
Setting: Set after Buffy season 7.



***************************

He was starting to detest these trips around the country. Travelling around, tracking down all the different accounts that the Council had in all those different cities, was starting to tire him.

Still, he had to admit that Metropolis was one of the more interesting looks placed to visit so far. It was cleaner than normal, and the people seemed friendlier than the normal Americans he had to deal with, if a little inclined to ask what he was brought up to consider impertinent questions.

Sighing, Giles pushed his glasses up his nose, and hailed a taxi. Just as he was climbing inside, a red streak shot through the air along the street, causing a great gust of wind to blow everyone around, and disappeared off into the distance. “It’s Superman!” shouted several bystanders, pointing excitedly towards the streak.

Rolling his eyes, Giles shook his head, and climbed into the cab. Really, these superheroes were most over-rated. “The MetroBank on 7th Street, please,” he said.

“Sure thing, bud!” smiled the cabbie. “Say, that was Superman! Wonder where he’s off to!” Giles sank back into the seat, and prayed that this would be a short journey.

*************

It wasn’t.

Twenty minutes later, and a long lecture on just how much Superman had done for Metropolis, Giles was at the MetroBank. Twenty minutes after that and he’d just finished presenting his credentials to the sceptical, but now convinced Advisor at the Bank.

Sitting back in his chair, and sipping from his glass of water, Giles wondered if Buffy and the others back in Cleveland knew just how much he’d prefer to be back there hunting demons right now, rather than dealing with these pinstriped financial sharks. At least you could hit the demons…

Plastering a smile on his face as the Account Manager re-entered the room, Giles started to inquire about formally taking over as the account holder when the building shook. There was a loud noise, and the wall next to Giles shook again, harder this time. “What on earth?” said Giles, and hurried to the door.

Looking into the main section of the bank, Giles saw people screaming and running from the large hulking figure snarling in the middle. The figure was about seven feet tall, made of some kind of metal, and with glowing green eyes. A security guard pointed his gun at what Giles assumed was a robot, only to have his gun ripped away and himself to be thrown across the room

Luckily, the security guard was stopped from crashing into a wall by the red and blue streak suddenly catching him. Placing the guard carefully behind him, Superman walked slowly forward towards his adversary. “Robbing a bank, Metallo? That’s a little petty even for you.”

Metallo snarled again and threw one of the nearby desks at Superman who easily caught it. “All I want Superman - is your death!” Metallo shouted, and leapt towards Superman, punching with one of his massive metal arms.

Superman staggered as the blow hit, but quickly recovered. “Upgrade all you like, Metallo – you still won’t defeat me!” he said, melting the large metal hand with a quick blast from his heat vision.

“I didn’t go to all this trouble to set off alarms to attract your attention, and not have a plan, Kryptonian!” said Metallo, as a plate in his chest slid open and a sickly green glow shone out. There, sitting in the middle of a lot of circuits and machinery, was a glowing green rock.

Giles sighed loudly, and waited for the inevitable defeat, ignoring the Account Manager’s attempts to drag him back behind the desk in their meeting room. Honestly, Xander and Andrew would never forgive him if he didn’t memorise every little detail.

He frowned, as Superman sank to the floor in obvious agony, sweat beads on his forehead. That wasn’t meant to happen.

Superman raised one arm upwards in pain. “Kryptonite! But... But how?” he gasped.

“Yes, Superman!” Metallo exclaimed. “The only element that can kill you! You under-estimated just how much Luthor hates you that he was willing to share his last stock of it!” He laughed a strangely metallic laugh. “And now you die, Superman! And Metropolis will be ours!!!”

Oh, for god’s sake, that was more than enough – he still had one more stop on this damn US tour to go, and the jet-lag was starting to make him irritable. Marching back into the meeting room, Giles picked up the jug of water from the table and exited.

Crossing the rubble strewn main foyer, Giles walked over to the two figures frozen in their strange tableaux, and knocked politely on the back of Metallo.

“What?” said Metallo surprised, and automatically swung round towards Giles. Giles smiled, said “Coming through!” and ducked under the robotic arm. Seeing the open chest plate, Giles immediately threw the contents of the water jug over the exposed circuitry and watched it short out.

Metallo screamed in agony, and reared up in pain. Choosing his moment carefully, Giles reached in, and snatched the piece of Kryptonite out from all its connections. Turning and looking down at the prone Superman, who was looking up with an amazed expression on his face, Giles just smiled. “All yours,” he said, and walked off whistling happily and juggling the Kryptonite.

As he re-entered the meeting room, Giles could clearly hear the cry of “Nooooooo!” from behind him and the solid thump of fists hitting metal time and again. Sitting down in his soft chair, he raised one eyebrow at the Account Manager peeking out from under the table. Placing the Kryptonite on the table, Giles just looked at him until shamefaced, he scrambled up and brushed the dust off his suit.

“Now then,” Giles spoke in his softest, most biting tone, ”Now that that distraction is over with, do you suppose I might be allowed access to my own funds?”

As the bank employee’s rushed around him, Giles permitted himself a small smile as he looked at the Kryptonite. Now, that was going to make a good souvenir. He couldn’t wait to see Xander’s face when he got back to Cleveland.

Just the Gotham City trip to go.



End


Btw, I'm not totally happy with the title, so any better suggestions will be gratefully accepted.

Comments

Posted by: Speaker-to-Customers (speakr2customrs)
Posted at: November 22nd, 2004 08:05 pm (UTC)

That was a lot of fun.

Posted by: Sentimental yet sardonic (booster17)
Posted at: November 23rd, 2004 05:13 pm (UTC)
Wes dream [houses7177]

Ta muchly, guv. :)

Posted by: Tara (elementalv)
Posted at: November 22nd, 2004 08:51 pm (UTC)
stalking rg by literati

SQUEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

My first birthday pressie! And such beautiful, impatient snark! Thank you!!!!

Posted by: Sentimental yet sardonic (booster17)
Posted at: November 23rd, 2004 05:15 pm (UTC)
Giles resolve face [extraflamey]

My pleasure. :D

Hope you had a wonderful day, and not too much of a hangover tomorrow.

Posted by: Marcus L. Rowland (ffutures)
Posted at: November 22nd, 2004 11:58 pm (UTC)

Excellent. Wonder what Superman will do to destroy the Kryptonite...

Posted by: uninvitedCat (uninvitedcat)
Posted at: November 23rd, 2004 12:10 am (UTC)

Heh heh heh - a lovely piece to find over breakfast!

I'd try and come up with some title suggestions, but I'm terrible at titles, so I'll just leave quietly about now...

Posted by: Daveosaurus (southerndave)
Posted at: November 23rd, 2004 12:32 am (UTC)

I like "Pocket Full of Kryptonite", but that would give away the plot...

Posted by: Spectacularly Adequate Empress (empressvesica)
Posted at: November 23rd, 2004 11:28 am (UTC)
Applause [peaces_icons]

Very nicely done. As for title...eh, you know I suck at this but the two things I thought of were "Man of Tweed" and "Putting the Whatever in Superhero". I just love Giles' nonchalance. Very Sunnydale.

Posted by: Sentimental yet sardonic (booster17)
Posted at: November 23rd, 2004 05:09 pm (UTC)
subtext [jidabug]

You scare me at times with your in-synch-brain : Man of Tweed was the just-rejected-title-choice before I settled on Faster Than...

Glad you enjoyed it. And after Sunnydale, hell - after the Scoobies, ain't nothing gonna phase our Giles.

Posted by: Spectacularly Adequate Empress (empressvesica)
Posted at: November 24th, 2004 06:03 am (UTC)
Retro - Sprawl [sarudy]

Well, we haven't mentioned it in a while but there is that old, well-loved running joke about the shared brain cell.

Guess it wanted to spend some time over here, soaking up the Florida sun. And no, I will never shut up about that. I will enjoy every goddamn minute of sunshine since I might never see it again in a month like December. :)

Posted by: Sentimental yet sardonic (booster17)
Posted at: November 24th, 2004 12:42 pm (UTC)
Sam/Sun

I almost went with "It's a Bird! It's a Plane! Nah, It's a Pissed Off Watcher".

Damn traitor brain cell! Send it back!

Booster
Who's never seen the sun in December. *sniff*

Posted by: Spectacularly Adequate Empress (empressvesica)
Posted at: November 28th, 2004 03:47 pm (UTC)
Faith - Stars [adharita]

Poor darling. *pat pat*

Posted by: Sentimental yet sardonic (booster17)
Posted at: November 27th, 2004 03:42 am (UTC)
Giles resolve face [extraflamey]

It's up now at TtH under the title of 'Man Of Tweed'.

Thanks for the suggestion! It just works so much better.

Posted by: Spectacularly Adequate Empress (empressvesica)
Posted at: November 28th, 2004 04:00 pm (UTC)
Retro - Sprawl [sarudy]

O-kay. Why are you thanking me as you came up with same thing yourself? Still, you are most welcome.

And you still haven't said boo about the new icons. *pouts*

Posted by: Sentimental yet sardonic (booster17)
Posted at: November 28th, 2004 05:58 pm (UTC)
Faith Buffy dancing [ivoryraven]

I'm thanking you, cos you persuaded me to change it by coming up with the same idea. I just wasn't sure that people would follow the line of reasoning, but as you came up with it yourself, I was re-assured.

Plus, you have to remember that it was 3am in the morning when I was desperately trying to think of any title. I think I took longer to come up with that, than I did to write the ficlet.

And the icon is fine and lovely - I just can't quite see the Faith resemblence. :( Sowwy.

Posted by: Spectacularly Adequate Empress (empressvesica)
Posted at: November 29th, 2004 04:54 am (UTC)

Eh, I was going with an artisitic interpretation of Miss Faith. But really I loff them even if they look nothing like Faith.

I totally understand the pain of spending longer on title and summary than you did writing the fic. Lots of reviews over at TtH. I suppose I should go add my in-depth two-cents at some point.

Posted by: 4thdixiechick (4thdixiechick)
Posted at: November 23rd, 2004 02:16 pm (UTC)

that was very enjoyable. I like unflappable Giles saving Superman. Was the last line just a tease, or is there a sequel planned?

Posted by: Sentimental yet sardonic (booster17)
Posted at: November 23rd, 2004 05:13 pm (UTC)
Giles resolve face [extraflamey]

Was really just meant to be a tease, thougb I keep getting flashes of Alfred Pennyworth and Giles arguing over the last box of Earl Grey tea in a Gotham shop now. In a frightfully British way of arguing, of course.

Posted by: 4thdixiechick (4thdixiechick)
Posted at: November 23rd, 2004 05:28 pm (UTC)

Was really just meant to be a tease, thougb I keep getting flashes of Alfred Pennyworth and Giles arguing over the last box of Earl Grey tea in a Gotham shop now. In a frightfully British way of arguing, of course.

Oh, you really are a fic-tease!
That scene just has to be written, even if it's only a drabble.

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