Should I pick up Twilight?
Yes, for it is a wonderful glittery thing.
Yes, for the lolz!
What? I've never even heard of this Twilight thing.
No, for it will destroy your very soul!
No, there's plenty of bad fanfic out there for you to read already.
No, No, NO! Why are you even considering this? Idiot.
I suspect The Guardian, as spotted by shapinglight, would be voting for option 6 here.