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Sentimental yet sardonic [userpic]

Worst Lyrics of all Time

July 10th, 2008 (10:36 am)

There's been a poll run recently by some website to find the worst lyrics ever. And sure enough, they found some real bad ones.

10) Only time will tell if we stand the test of time
Why Can't This Be Love, VAN HALEN
9) She had dumps like a truck, truck, truck
Thong Song, SISQO
8) Lucky that my breasts are small and humble,
so you don't confuse them with mountains

Whenever, Wherever, SHAKIRA
7) You got a Prada bag with a lotta stuff in it
Gettin' Jiggy Wit It, WILL SMITH
6) Time is like a clock in my heart
Time (Clock of the Heart), CULTURE CLUB
5) I love you like a fat kid love cake
21 Questions, 50 CENT
4) He was a boy, she was a girl.
Can I make any more obvious?

3) Is that yo ass, or yo mama half reindeer?
Shake Ya Tailfeather, NELLY, P DIDDY & MURPHY LEE
2) I don't want to see a ghost,
It's the sight that I fear the most,
I'd rather have a piece of toast,
And watch the evening news.

1) I'm as serious as cancer,
When I say rhythm is a dancer.

Rhythm Is A Dancer, SNAP!

Personally, I'd add in ones like America's "Horse with No Name" :
"There were plants,
And birds,
And rocks,
And things.

Any particularly bad lyrics stick in your memories?


Posted by: Daveosaurus (southerndave)
Posted at: July 10th, 2008 10:38 am (UTC)

"Where Do You Go To My Lovely". The entire song is three minutes of pointless name-dropping and product placement with a vague but trite moral at the end.

Not to mention that every time I've seen the title it's been punctuated differently, and normally in a way that does not make sense. (I suppose it shows that I've been reading "Eats, Shoots and Leaves" lately...)

Posted by: Sentimental yet sardonic (booster17)
Posted at: July 10th, 2008 10:45 am (UTC)
Fantasia re-mix

Where Do You Go? To My Lovely?

Where Do You... Go To My Lovely!

Where? Do You...? Go To My.... Lovely!

Where Do You, Go To? My Lovely...

Hey, yeah. This is fun!

Posted by: M. McGregor (m_mcgregor)
Posted at: July 10th, 2008 11:55 am (UTC)

Clearly "My Lovely" is a verb. It's like "Where do you go to eat breakfast?"

And of course "My Lovely" is, like every phrase in every song ever, a euphemism for masturbation.

So when someone asks you "Where do you go to my lovely?" your answer should always be "Hey, that's none of your business!"

Posted by: Sentimental yet sardonic (booster17)
Posted at: July 10th, 2008 04:16 pm (UTC)

So by that logic, The Divinyl's I Touch Myself is actually about something else completely?

Posted by: foxfire74 (foxfire74)
Posted at: July 11th, 2008 12:07 am (UTC)
Re: Hmmm....

I must jump in on this thread for just long enough to mention the D&D game I once played with a truly obnoxious paladin. At one point during the festivities, I started caroling to Husband Unit, "When I think about me, I touch myself..."

Posted by: foxfire74 (foxfire74)
Posted at: July 11th, 2008 12:10 am (UTC)

Damn. Not even a mention for "My Humps"?

And I loathe Lennon's "Imagine" for many, many reasons and think the lyrics are total mush rescued by a nice melody, but my inner grammar Nazi goes completely critical when the song gets to "and no religion, too". (Would this count as "OH JOHN LENNON, NO?", or have I been reading too much obscure LJ stuff lately?)

Posted by: Sentimental yet sardonic (booster17)
Posted at: July 11th, 2008 01:01 am (UTC)
Fantasia re-mix

Would that be the classic lines
My humps
My humps
My humps
My lovely lady lumps

by any chance?

And hee! Ringo ref for the win!

(BTW, John Lennon will be appearing tomorrow or Sat on the list of top ten most conceited things said by a pop star)

Posted by: Daveosaurus (southerndave)
Posted at: July 11th, 2008 08:57 am (UTC)

... I think this is the first time I've ever actually seen the original lyrics of that one quoted...

Posted by: artistshipper (artistshipper)
Posted at: July 15th, 2008 09:12 am (UTC)

+1 Ringo ref = teh LOLZ

I kinda want to go with "If you wanna be my lover, You gotta get with my friends." Christian Aguilera, I think. Terrible song.

Posted by: Sentimental yet sardonic (booster17)
Posted at: July 15th, 2008 09:52 am (UTC)
Head-desky [lurker32]

How embarassing is it that as soon as I saw that line, I knew it was the Spice Girls with Wannabe.


Posted by: Brendan (brendanm720)
Posted at: July 10th, 2008 03:45 pm (UTC)
My Piano

Mandy, by Barry Manilow. The only thing that saves that song at all is that the Gimme Gimmes did a cover of it, and that at least sounds good.

Even if the lyrics are crap.

Posted by: curiouswombat (curiouswombat)
Posted at: July 10th, 2008 07:47 pm (UTC)
Oh Dear

Apart from the Des'ree one, which is my favourite trite lyric, let's hear it for Toto -

The wild dogs cry out in the night,
As they grow restless longing for some solitary company,
I know that I must do what's right,
Sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti.

Also I rather like Bjork's
we just met
and I know I'm a bit too intimate
but something is coming up

or even her

you fall in love
zing boom
the sky up above
zing boom
is caving in
wow bam

And just to show that I do listen to more modern music, my daughter has stuff by Razorlight wherein can be found

And I met a girl,
she asked me my name,
I told her what it was.

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