Title: Ill Met By Moonlight
Summary: The two most dangerous lunatics in Gotham meet in a dark alley. Part of Jinni’s 20 minutes with Drusilla challenge.
Disclaimer: Buffy and the gang belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.
“Oh frabulous day!” exclaimed The Joker, and capered his way down the Gotham alley.
Spinning to a dead stop, he placed one hand on his chest, stood tall and proud and took off his purple “Batman for Mayor” hat. “Oh, say can you see,” he sang loudly, proudly and very much out of tune, “The Batmobile standing here?”
“Heavens to Murtatroyd, my dear chap,” he said turning to his grinning henchman, “You have indeed found me an object of deep desire!” He turned to the Batmobile, and lovingly stroked his hand across it. An electric spark jumped across the gap from the car to his hand with a loud ZAP.
“Ow! Ouch! Ouchie!” he exclaimed, frantically blowing on his fingers, “Now that’s just not fair, Batsie old bud!”
“Even the Knight’s steed has a bite that can hurt,” came a soft, whisper from behind the Joker, causing him to spin round in surprise.
The woman before him was certainly no Bat character, although the dressing in black was heading in that direction. Still, the lack of bat symbol, the distinct lack of punching his head and the fact that she had the blood of his once-lucky henchmen dripping from her mouth reassured him.
“Madam!” he declaimed loudly, “I fear we have not been introduced properly. I am the Joker, Clown Prince of Crime and that was Jasper that you just ate. And whom do I have the pleasure of addressing?”
She studied his face intently for a moment, eyes not quite in focus with her gaze, the tracking not quite in co-ordination. “Mmmm…” she purred, and moved closer. “Heart so dead, but so much energy and thoughts and such pretty, dark toys. Dead bird in the nest, and more to go….”
She looked suddenly childish and lost. “Miss Edith says I can trust you. My name is Drusilla. I want my Spikey back.”
Oh, such fun! A new friend for him! He must introduce her and those lovely sharp teeth to Battie as soon as possible! “Charmed, Drusilla! Oh, what a day! First this infernal machine, and now a new minion to be trained! But all pales before yourself.”
He leant forward and took her hand, planting a delicate kiss on it. “Tell me… Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?”
“Oh yes!” said Drusilla happily, “He brought cakes.”
And with a sudden motion, she slammed the body of Jasper through the Batmobile side window, smashing all the reinforced glass with ease. “I like cakes, whiteface,” she said cheerfully, “Can we get some now?”
The Joker quickly pulled the corpse out of the car, and dived inside, expertly pulling out wires and boxes and technological devices everywhere. There was an answering purr from the engine eventually, and he popped his grinning visage out of the window.
“Your carriage awaits,” he said happily, “Cakes and cars and carnage. God, this is going to be fun.”
Drusilla settled in beside him, as the Batmobile veered off down the alleyway at high speed, hitting everything along the way. “We’re hunting bats and rats and maybe a little cat,” she said just as happily, and licked the blood off her hand.