Sentimental yet sardonic (booster17) wrote,
Sentimental yet sardonic

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Domestic, part 2 (Doctor Who/Buffyverse cross)

Yes, I'm having way too much fun with this lot. Part 1 can be found here for those of you who missed it.

Title: Domestic, part 2
Rating: 15
Setting: Between 1.11 Boomtown, and 1.12 Bad Wolf. Post-"Chosen" for Faith.
Summary: Stick some characters in the same room and they write themselves. Farce happens.
Characters: Faith, Rose, The Ninth Doctor, Jack, Mickey and Jackie.
Disclaimer: They ain't mine. All the playthings of RTD and the BBC. Except Faith who is a law unto herself and has escaped Joss and Mutant Enemy.

Written for tthjinni.

Chapter 2 - Investigations

Half an hour later….

The Tardis door creaked open and three heads peered around the edge. “I can’t see anything!” hissed Mickey. “Shh!” whispered Rose, placing a finger to her lips, “They’ll hear you!” The Doctor frowned and slid his sonic screwdriver back into his pocket.

The console room looked normal. Well, as normal as you’d expect if two sex crazed, highly active and very energetic people hadn’t charged through it. Rose stretched out one hand and picked up a piece of blue cloth from in front on them on the entry ramp. “Is it… Was that… part of Jack’s T-shirt?” she asked, eyes wide.

The Doctor produced the sonic screwdriver instantly again, and shone it all over the scrap before them. “Cotton fibre,” he mused, “Approximately 4.3 years old, distinct sweat traces…. probably a man. Could well be his...”

“It’s his,” said Mickey firmly from his position further into the console room.

“You can’t say that for certain,” protested Rose, wildly groping for any explanation other than what she was picturing in her head. “They could have… it could be… sweat rags! Yes, sweat rags from all that furniture assembling.”

Wordlessly, Mickey passed back the label attached to the remains of the shirt collar. Rose looked at it – ‘Harkness, J. Captain. Hand wash only.’ “Oh,” said Rose, very quietly.

The three of them ventured further inside the main control centre of the Tardis. Was that Jack’s trousers draped across the console? That was certainly Faith’s jacket tossed casually to the floor by the toolbox. A trail of Faith’s clothing and what looked like Jack’s socks led to the door to the interior of the Tardis.

All three of them stared around at the sight before them. Rose noticed the Doctor patting the edge of the main console as if to reassure it. Her gaze flicked back to the remains of Jack’s shirt in her hands and her eyes narrowed. Oddly enough, that didn’t look like it had been torn along the seams. More like… bitten open?


She shuddered and dropped it quickly.

Mickey looked around and tilted his head thoughtfully. “Do you,” he asked hesitatingly, “Can you hear that?”

The Doctor frowned, and his ears almost seemed to perk up. “Some sort of regular pattern repeating itself?” He swallowed. “A rhythmic bumping noise?”

Rose checked her watch. “Still?!?” she said, deliberately not looking at Mickey. “Maybe… maybe something got broken in the Tardis?”

The Doctor brightened up quickly, before his face fell once again. “They better not have hurt the old girl,” he said stroking the console once again. “I’d have to…. tell them off, I suppose.”

They paused, listening to the far off noise again, straining to hear. Was that a scream? Rose leant forward, desperate to make something out. There was a crash and a bump from behind them, and all three of them jumped.

It was Jackie, wheeling the vaccum cleaner inside the Tardis. “What?” she said in a huff, “I had it out anyway, and god knows the last time this thing got cleaned was.”

There was a faint, almost alarmed hum from the Tardis console as Jackie gazed around the large room. “I’m going to need a ladder to get those cobwebs out,” she announced in a tone that brooked no refusal, “You’re bound to have one in here somewhere, a man like you.”

The Doctor, Rose and Mickey’s eyes all automatically slid over to the side where the stepladder they had been using in Cardiff was placed. “Well,” said Jackie, “That’s sorted then.” She glanced down at the vaccum cleaner beside her and the size of the room. “I’m going to need the extension cable,” she said thoughtfully and disappeared back outside.

Mickey and Rose shared a horrified look and grabbed hold of the Doctor together. Hustling him towards the inside of the Tardis, Rose hissed “Quick! Before she comes back!”

“She can’t do that!” the Doctor protested, wildly staring backwards, “The Tardis is a delicate thing, everything working perfectly in harmony together. We don’t do domestic!”

“Listen, mate,” said Mickey, not relaxing his grip for a moment, “Trust us on this – when she gets in one of those cleaning moods, no-one is safe. And everyone has to do something with it.”

Rose nodded grimly. “Just be grateful she’s not talking about redecorating it.”

The Doctor’s eyes widened in horror. An almost panicked bleep came from the Tardis console as they quickly pushed through the door into the vast interior.

A horrified silence seemed to fill the air until Jackie came bustling back inside. This time, she was armed with a bucket of hot, soapy water, a sponge and a pair of rubber gloves. “Rose?” she called out, “Do me a favour love, and run the hoover round this place a few times while I…”

She stopped and regarded the empty room. “Well!” she sniffed, “I bet that Captain Jack would have stayed to help. Perfect gentleman that one.” She cast her eye speculatively around the room until it fixed on the console. “Now you could certainly do with a good scrub,” she told it, and advanced purposefully.

End chapter 2

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Tags: doctor who, faith, fic
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