Title: Step By Step
Rating: FR 21
Summary: Faith has a list, she’s checking it twice. Hopefully, they’ve all been naughty.
Author's Notes: Femslash pwp all the way, baby. At least, it was meant to be before the characters started taking over.
It always came back to Buffy, didn’t it?
First girl she’d seen in Sunnydale, first girl she’d ever wanted that badly, that deeply. Want, take, have. She’d tried to take, but couldn’t have. And things went bad from there.
But that was then, and this is now.
Beneath her, Buffy babbles in passion as Faith’s fingers piston in and out of her willingly stretched legs. Now she wants to experiment, now she’s testing her ‘doughiness’, now Buffy wants Faith.
This is all Faith ever wanted. Her sister Slayer writhing under her touch.
She’s not the girl she used to be.
Both of them in their own ways have been bad.
Faith killed a man by accident and spent time in a coma, in a cell. Doing time with only herself for company. Always alone with her own worst enemy.
Willow killed a man deliberately and was forgiven. Reborn, welcomed back with warm arms and forgetfulness. Willful blindness.
It’s not right. It’s not fair.
They both know this.
So, on those nights when the guilt rises, Willow comes to her. In chains of her own making, Willow takes whatever Faith chooses to give her: the shame, and the pain.
Kennedy’s not blind.
She’s not stupid, either.
She knows she can’t give Willow what she wants, what she needs at certain times. But she can’t understand why Faith is the one who can.
She follows Faith all around the headquarters for a week before Faith snaps. Pushed back into a closet, she can feel the Dark Slayer’s talented hands roaming over her body, teasing her, rousing her, thrilling her.
As they come together, grinding on each other’s powerful thighs, Kennedy glimpses the darkness, the loss, the rage and the sorrow behind Faith’s eyes.
She understands Willow a lot better now.
She can’t do this any more.
Willow still needs the pain, the reminder of her descent, but Faith…. This isn’t her now. She has to fight the urge to stop, to smooth away the cuts and the weals on Willow’s prone and naked body. To kiss and caress Willow.
To hold and protect someone, rather than cause pain.
But pain is all she’s ever known, all she’s ever done.
Now Faith has someone who needs her for that, can she just walk away? Can she change herself that much?
She’s losing herself, day by day.
It has to stop.
Well, what was Fred is nice. Illyria, on the other hand….
Faith feels like it’s a warning to her. Ilyria’s dark depths are merely closer to the surface and more visible. Both of them like a timebomb, slowly ticking away.
It’s not difficult to get Fred into bed. The Old One behind those eyes likes to experience humanity, no matter what she protests. Even if she hadn’t been expecting this.
It feels like Fred all the time, down to that Texas twang in her frantic, breathless demands for more.
It’s Faith who feels more like the soulless one.
That was the first thing Dawn had said to Faith on being assigned as her Watcher. By god, she felt stupid now not to have recognised the first salvo in Dawn’s relentless stalk and pursuit of her. And now Dawn was sleeping quietly, the smile of the sated clearly visible from where Faith sat quietly smoking by the window.
Something about her completed Faith, made her whole. She’d changed so much, since they came together. For Dawn.
Godammit! She was Faith Lehane, scourge of vampires everywhere.
So why wouldn’t this damn stupid happy sappy smile leave her face?