Sentimental yet sardonic (booster17) wrote,
Sentimental yet sardonic

Things I Must Not Do When Travelling With The Doctor

In the spirit of Skippy's List, the Things Xander Must Not Do List, and the Things Skippy is not Allowed to Do in the Pegasus Galaxy:

Rose rummaged frantically through the back of the cupboard. If it was where Sarah Jane had told her it would be….aha! Carefully, she pulled the journal out of where it was half hidden under a cricket sweater, and just looked at it.

A large, hardback volume with what looked like hundreds of pages inside it, and all filled with many different entries, all in different handwritings. The inside cover page was clear however: Things I must not do when travelling with the Doctor

Wow… those were a lot of entries, and oddly enough it looked like they jumped around from person to person. Typical of the Doctor to have a book that kept re-arranging itself. And hey – just how many people had the Doctor travelled with anyhow? Finding a nice comfy seat, Rose curled up with the journal and started reading:

~ + ~

1) I must not set any more death traps for the Doctor under the hynoptic influence of the Master.

2) The TARDIS pool should be cleaned every once in a while.

3) When the Doctor mentions time for the 300 year checkup, do not ask whether he means the TARDIS or himself.

4) Run first, then scream.

5) Whenever the Doctor mentions 'Skaro', 'Thals', or 'Kaleds' go straight back to the TARDIS and wait.
5a) Inside.

6) Always remember where you parked the TARDIS.
6a) Remind the Doctor to fix that invisibility bug.

7) It's Lethbridge-Stewart, not Stewart Lethbridge, and should not be greeted with "Hey, Stew!".

8) The cloister bell is for emergencies, not for a dinner gong.

9) The zero room is not a room of requirement.
9a) No matter how many times I pace up and down past it.

10) Not allowed to invoke any gods while in the time/space votex.
10a) Not allowed to invoke any gods while under fire.
10b) Not allowed to invoke any gods in the far past.
10c) In fact, not allowed to invoke or swear by any gods at all.

11) Not allowed to grow my own Janus thorns in the TARDIS.

12) I cannot send Adric snipe hunting.
12a) Or looking for a left handed screwdriver.
12b) Or looking for Tartan paint.

13) "It sounded like a good idea at the time" is not a valid reason for anything.

14) Big red Do Not Press type buttons should not be pressed.
14a) Unless you're the Doctor.

15) K-9 is not a foot rest.

16) Must not keep score in the arguements between Tegan and the Doctor.
16a) Or Tegan and anyone.

17) UNIT drivers and fast response vehicles are not to be used to go shopping.

18) The TARDIS wardrobe is my friend. However, dressing up in the Doctor's current outfit is a no-no.

19) I must not try to keep track of Tegan's time of the month.

20) Gallifrey is NOT in Ireland.

(Feel free to add on.)
Tags: doctor who, fic, general amusement

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