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Sentimental yet sardonic [userpic]

He made me do it

April 4th, 2006 (02:06 am)

current mood: accomplished

d_tepes made a mistake. He challenged me to do a sequel to my Veronica Mars/Vice Principal Van Clemmons fic Educating Veronica, only this time he wanted live chickens, peach preserves and the taser involved.

Yeah, he should have known better.

“No, Miss Mars,” Van Clemmons replied firmly, “Once was a mistake, and I am certainly not repeating it. No, I will not sleep with you again.”

I sighed. Looked like I was gonna have to work for this one. I gave Wallace the signal for Operation Distraction, and plastered my best begging expression on my face. “Pleaseeeeeee?”

Okay, not my best effort, but I was hoping Wallace had come up with something. Anything.

And then four live chickens squawked and rushed past us, disappearing off into the far reaches of the car park. Wallace Fennell, I salute you.

Van Clemmons was staring after them with his jaw wide open. I kinda felt bad about hitting him with the taser at that point, but hey… shouldn’t have turned a girl down.

He sagged a bit, and collapsed into my arms. Not as romantically as I’d dreamed, but take what you can get as Dad always says. Tucking him nicely into the rear of my car, I covered him up with a blanket, and jumped into the front.

Five minute drive to the motel room already rented, two minutes to get him inside, two minutes to get him naked and handcuffed to the bed…. That would leave me about another minute to get the peach preserves slathered all over his chest before he wakes up.

It’s so much fun when he plays hard to get.

And much love to camperx who made me this icon.


Posted by: Brendan (brendanm720)
Posted at: April 3rd, 2006 07:23 pm (UTC)
VM - Veronica - Snicker

I really need a new Veronica Mars Icon.

The snicker icon is not adequate.

One that says "Bwahahahahahaha" would be more appropriate for this fic.

If you keep writing these... I'm gonna have to haul out the ol' Photoshop.

Posted by: Drake (d_tepes)
Posted at: April 3rd, 2006 07:41 pm (UTC)
Special Hell!

My head has asploded once more and now my thoughts are leaking all over the place...

I just... I'm being corrupted, because I'm enjoying these far, far too much I fear. Just so fun and *ASPLODE*


I think I should just say "That's fun, great job." and stop before I give into temptation and challenge you to another one that involves a Harley on a high dive, pineapple sherbet and Shriners. :)


Posted by: Jen (tthjinni)
Posted at: April 3rd, 2006 07:41 pm (UTC)

See... and I thought I needed my brain cleaned after the LAST one. *groans* I'd try to one up you on the ick factor, but I think you've maxed it out pretty well.

Posted by: gianna24 (gianna24)
Posted at: April 3rd, 2006 07:48 pm (UTC)

Well the obvious next step is a fic where Clemmons get erotic revenge.

Posted by: Marcus L. Rowland (ffutures)
Posted at: April 3rd, 2006 11:52 pm (UTC)

Aaaargh... my brain... melting...

Posted by: Jo-Anne Storm (jo_anne_storm)
Posted at: April 4th, 2006 03:47 pm (UTC)

Oh the pain! The pain!

Posted by: Spectacularly Adequate Empress (empressvesica)
Posted at: April 5th, 2006 07:10 am (UTC)

*curls in a ball, crying*

Oh my god...

Must write something to get this image out of my head. Eeep!!

You are...so...so...wrong!

Posted by: CamperX (camperx)
Posted at: April 6th, 2006 05:55 am (UTC)

forget the 80-grit sandpaper. I now officially need the Earl Scheib Auto sandblaster to get this outta my noggin.

Here you go. Another understated-yet-scary-as-hell icon for another understated-yet-scary-as-hell story.

Fishin' Again

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