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Ten Things That Never Happened in the BtVS Fandom

March 23rd, 2006 (10:29 am)
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current song: Rihanna - SOS

Title: Ten Things That Never Happened in the BtVS Fandom
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Some spells are stronger and further reaching than you’d think.
Characters: Dawn
Disclaimer: They ain't mine. Buffy and the gang belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.





Matt, seriously this isn’t good enough. I know you don’t like the younger sister, but leaving her out completely? Totally unacceptable. I’ve made a few revisions to the entry, so look them over and see if they work.

Simon


1.01 Welcome To the Hellmouth

First Appearances of:

Main characters
Buffy Summers, Willow Rosenberg, Xander Harris, Joyce Summers, Angel, Cordelia Chase, Rupert Giles, Dawn Summers

Recurring characters
Darla, The Master, Principal Flutie

Summary:
Buffy Summers moves to Sunnydale with her mother Joyce and younger sister Dawn. Joyce has decided to relocate the family after a few incidents in LA. Buffy just wants to forget all about vampires, while Dawn resents her sister for making them move away from all her friends. Little does Buffy know that the very night before they arrived, Darla killed a man in her high school.

Next day in Sunnydale High, Xander Harris sees…..

(Proof copy of “She’s So Gonna Dust Your Ass – an unauthorised guide to Buffy the Vampire Slayer")




….but what really makes “Out of Sight, Out of Mind” so reviled among fans is the whole lapse into broad comedy with the whole Dawn plotline. Whedon’s idea to play up the whole sibling rivalry and younger sister’s telling tales to mother is, in principle, a good idea. However the execution is shoddy and just not up to the normal standards already set by the program. Buffy trying to sneak Angel in and out of her bedroom, while a suspicious Dawn wanders around the house in a Scooby-Doo nightdress is basically a farce and clashes horridly with the whole tone of approaching doom set up by Angel and Giles’s talk of prophesy.

Although it’s almost all worth it for the official naming of the ‘Scooby Gang’ from Dawn, and the inevitable riposte of “That makes you Scrappy!” from Buffy. Michelle Trachtenberg shows an early display of her craft that she would later do so well with.

Giles unconscious count: 0
Dawn kidnap count: 2
Buffy kill count: 13

(Encyclopaedia Buffyica)




It’s Not Easy Being a Deadbeat Dad
The SFX interview with Dean Butler aka Hank Summers from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Dean Butler: Please, don’t throw anything. *chortles*

SFX: Well, we promise to behave for this interview at least, but no promises for afterwards. *laughs* So, how does it feel to be one of the most hated characters on the show, particularly when it’s filled with blood sucking fiends who kill people?

Dean Butler: I know! Even my wife wonders occasionally what I’ve done to deserve being ahead of them. *laughs* But seriously, half the genius that is Buffy is the way that Joss has grounded it firmly in the real world as well as the fantasy setting. Having to deal with a father who’s irresponsible and threatening to take her sister away is another way to stress out Buffy.

SFX: And besides, Sarah does the best tortured faces.

Dean Butler: Exactly! The characters are learning that some things you just can’t hit into submission. I have no idea where we’re going with this storyline, but I trust Joss implicitly.

SFX: What was it like filming the scenes ice skating with Sarah in “What’s My Line?”

Dean Butler: Sarah’s a joy to work with and an absolute professional. Able to emote beautifully the joy that her father’s trying to connect with her again, while still skating along? Totally under-rated achievement. Me? I was busy hanging onto the side, and trying to stay upright. *laughs*

SFX: Michelle Trachtenberg said recently that she enjoyed doing the scenes with you and Kristine Sutherland.

Dean Butler: Again, that’s the beauty of Joss. So many people out there can empathise with having to try and choose one parent over the other after a messy divorce. But Michelle really nailed that scene. Watch out for her in the future, I’m telling you – she’s gonna be good.

SFX: Moving on, Hank Summers and Giles really don’t get on that well, do they?

Dean Butler: Well, Hank feels to an extent that Giles is trying to take his place in Buffy’s life, and he doesn’t like that. I try to work on the body language whene…..


(SFX magazine – March 1998 cover date.)




…..l’s last Gleaming, part two" works so well because it refuses to clean up any of the problems from part one, and in fact gets worse. Legions of naked Boomers, Adama being shot by a trusted aide, the crashing raptor on Kobol, the President under arrest…. So many things done well, and leaving us with a real WTF can happen next feeling.

4) Becoming, part 2 (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
Although the conclusion of a two-part story, ‘Becoming’ also succeeds by connecting us emotionally with all the leftover plot threads. With Angel re-souled but sent to Hell, and Willow in hospital, Buffy still has to deal with Dawn being taken away to Spain with her father, and being basically thrown out of the house by her mother. No wonder that she chooses to get out of town.

5) Best of Both Worlds, part 1 (Star Trek: The Next Generation)
With one of the best cliff-hangers ever seen in genre television at that point, Best of Both Worlds is only let down by the second part being not up to the standards set by part one. With Picard now serving the Borg as Locutus, Riker has…..

(Wizard Magazine Top Ten Best Season Cliff-hangers List)




Sunnydale mall. Dawn is gazing into the window of a jewellery shop.

Faith (off-screen): Little out of your price range ain’t it, shortstuff?

Dawn turns round to see Faith standing behind her.

Dawn: I like the green ones.

Faith: Only greenie round here’s me. Still trying to get used to this place. You’re B’s sister, aren’t you?

Dawn: (nods) I didn’t like it when I had to come here at first. I can… show you some of the stuff round here if you want?

Faith: Heh. Aww, screw it – why not? Your ma not gonna mind you wandering off with a stranger?

Dawn: You’re a slayer like Buffy. Mom can’t complain if I’m late back with you to save me.

Faith: (laughs) I think I’m gonna get along one hell of a lot better with you, D. You want anything from in there?

Dawn points in window.

Dawn: I like that one, but that’s my allowance for the next like, zillion years.

Faith: Hold yer horses, D. All be five by five in a second.

Faith enters the shop.

Cut to the mansion. Angel is still chained to the wall, and growls as the chains still resist his pulling at them.

Cut back to the mall. Faith leaves the jewellery shop, and starts walking. Dawn scampers to catch up.

Faith: Here. (tosses small green pendant to Dawn)

Dawn: Omigod! You shouldn’t..! It’s so… Omigod! (admires pendant)

Faith: Hey! None of that grateful shit and all. Not like I paid for it. You wanted, I took.

Dawn: You stole it?

Long pause while Dawn looks at pendant, looks at Faith, looks at pendant.

Dawn: Cooooool.

("Beauty and the Beast" transcript from buffytranscripts4evah.com)




TV Shows >> Buffy the Vampire Slayer >> Dawn the Vampire Smasher

Author: Dawnstarrie07

A/n – love the show so so so so much, I want to write for it. But I can’t, so I id this instead cos Dawn is so cool and deserves to be the slayer for a change. *giigle*

Full summary: The whole wish world thing with Cordalia happened, but never stopped at the end, cept Buffy died and Dawn became the new Slayer. And now she’s out for revnge on the Master

Dawn was happily skipping her way down the road with her bag of Buffys weapons when she felt this weird feeling over her. “oh wow said Dawn, feeling suddenly stronger. “Guess this means Buffy must be dead now and I’m the new slayer now” She thought ‘How can I test this power out?’

Seeing a car parked by her Dawn was all no way! and then she lifted up the front of the car with one hand!!1 “Dammet,’ she thought ‘I must be stronger than buffy evr was!!

Just then, her friend Stacy ran up to her. OMG Dawn” she said and pushed some of her shining purple hair from her face. “Did you just lift that car with 1 hand? Tat is so cool” she said, her violet eyes brightly beaming.

(From the FantasticFiction.Net website, and distinctly ‘Not Rec-ed’ on the ‘my_eyes_are_bleeding’ fic review community. Also a particular highlight at godawful.net)




Meanwhile, the Chumash Indian is busy conjuring up his buddies. In English. I know I snark too much on points like this every now and then, but really Joss? How hard is it to come up with something that sounds realistic? Anyhow, his posse of pals pop up promptly. Awww… it’s always nice to have your family around for Thanksgiving.

Cut to Giles’s place and Spike being tied to a chair by Buffy. Naturally enough, Spike’s busy complaining about his circulation until Buffy reminds him he doesn’t get any what with being a vampire and all. Spike moves onto his next tactic, claiming to have come in the spirit of friendship. Or rather “seething hatred, but I’ve got information.” Hee! Buffy tells him to spill what he knows, but Spike claims to be too hungry to remember. Buffy pulls out the big interrogation guns and yells for Dawn to “baby-sit the poor neutered vampire”. Smirking at the look on Spike’s face, Buffy wanders off to instruct Anya on the cooking.

Giles has figured out that the Chumash is going after figures of authority, and Buffy suggests this could mean the Dean’s next in line. Spike looks interested when he hears that brandy’s being used in one recipe and begs for some. Dawn looks up from where she’s busy drawing hearts and flowers on Spike’s arms, and asks if she can have some as well. Both requests are totally ignored. Dawn sticks her tongue out at Buffy’s back, as does Spike. And there’s this beautiful moment where they just look at each other, both disgusted with Buffy and totally in tune with the other. And then they realise what they’re doing, Dawn kicks Spike in the shins and normal chaos resumes.

Giles thinks someone should warn the Dean. Willow’s not happy with stopping the Chumash and says she won’t help. Buffy’s all trying to persuade Willow she’s also not happy, but giving instructions to Anya on the cooking doesn’t exactly come across as all that concerned. [Word. ~Ed] Buffy declares firmly that though he’s been wronged in the past, they have to put a stop to it.

Thankfully, Spike says exactly what I’m thinking around this point and sneers at them all about just what conquerors actually do. "Julius Caesar isn't going around saying, ‘I came. I conquered. I felt really bad about it.’" As long as they don’t have Spike suddenly knowing lots of dead famous people all of a sudden, I can live with him having the historical overview. "You had better weapons and you massacred them. End of story."

(Excerpt from “Pangs” recap, from ReCapCentral.com)




“Expecting”

Originally aired: Tuesday January 25, 2000 on WB
After a wild night on the town, Cordelia wakes up to find that she is at least six months pregnant. Meanwhile, Angel must look after a visiting Dawn Summers and try to dodge her questions about the birds and the bees.

Episode trivia
When Angel is in a phone booth talking to Wesley and removing bullets from his side, you can clearly see his reflection on all sides of the phone booth as the camera circles.

In the doctor's office the boom mic is visible for about two seconds in the top centre of the screen.
Cordy drinks the blood, which dribbles out of her mouth and onto the floor, then wipes it off of her mouth with her sleeve. Later when she hits Wesley with the book, there is no blood on her mouth, her sleeve or the floor.

Quotable Quotes
Wesley: Hello. I was just in the neighborhood, patrolling with my new Bavarian fighting axe when I suddenly thought, "Perhaps Cordelia has had a vision." Perhaps you need my help in the battle against evil.
Angel: We seem to be evil-free at the moment.

Dawn: So, you and my sister?
Angel: No! No no no no!
Dawn: She was all with the whole visiting thing a few weeks back. You sure you didn’t do anything?
Angel: Not the second time round. I mean, No! Nothing happened!
Dawn: If I get back to Sunnydale and my sister’s all as fat as that…
Cordelia: Hey!

Dawn: Cool! I get the axe! Buffy never lets me have an axe!
Angel: Dawn? You cannot ‘call shotgun’ on the axe.
Dawn: Shotgun? I want the shotgun!

Wesley: I mean, no one's more fond of Cordelia than I, but if she wants to go gadabouting with those doxies...
Angel: I think they liked you.
Wesley: Really? I...I...didn't mean doxy in a sexually promiscuous sense, exactly....I..You don't think sticking the axe in the wall put them off?
Angel: That was charming.
Wesley: What about the fact they thought we were gay?
Angel: Adds mystery.

Cordelia: You see, kiddo – when a vampire slayer and a souled vampire love each other very much, they’re all with the oooo and all with the ahhhh, and then he goes all grrrr and she goes all stabbity, and it’s just not good.
Dawn: The oooo and the ahhh?
Cordelia: Well, that’s…. it’s…. help me out here, Wes? Wes? Get back here, Wyndam-Pryce!

(“Expecting” webpage entry from tvinfoterminal.com)




“This Years Girl”

- OMG. Joss Whedon is so amazingly brilliant. This episode will go down as one of his best ideas EVAH.
- Seriously, how the hell does he come up with these ideas? Amazing stuff. Man, I’m still somewhat speechless. Need to watch again!
- Drugs. Has to be. I want some!!!!!!1
- Major props to all three actresses though. How the hell they pulled that all off….
- Dude, can you just imagine their faces when they all first read the script? SMG killed her Faith-in-buffy routine perfectly, but Mischelle T was the amazing stand-out for me.
- Word.
- IT WAS GOOD. I LIKED IT THOGH I HAD TO EXPLIAN IT 2 MY MOTHER AFERWARDSS. FAITH IS SO COL
- Agree 100% on all the performances tonight. Just feel sorry for which ever poor bastard has to do the recap.
- That whole ‘ride you like a pony’ thing to Spike, intercut with Buffy/Dawn running to get to Dawn/Faith? Have I said how much I’m liking the editing this season too much yet? And lovely job by ED on the whole ‘what’s a stevedore?’ gag. Hee!
- Totally vindicates the whole stupid ‘Dawn is making things up to get attention’ storyline that TPTB have been forcing down our throats this year. Somehow, I just see Joss reading our postings and laughing evilly.
- Fire pretty, Caps lock bad. Watch what you’re posting, k? Love, the Mod.
- Okay guys, I totally missed the first 20 minutes, but I think I worked it all out in the end. Faith was in Buffy, Buffy was in Dawn, and Dawn was stuck in Faith’s body. That right?


(Message board talk after “This Year’s Girl” first aired.)




“Buffy v Dracula” @ 10.23pm

Ah…. Happy days are here again. The birds are singing, the sun is shining and a brand new season of Buffy has started.

(Spoilers behind LiveJournal Cut)

Well, for something that’s mainly an intro to the season, things look fine to me. Dracula was fun, Xander makes an excellent buttmonkey (I so need a Xander/buttmonkey icon), and the Giles/Riley team is not exactly going to be striking fear into the hearts of vampires everywhere.

Season arc possibilities – Buffy feeling all pumped full of energy is an outside bet, but that whole scene at the end with the green energy cloud forming into Dawn? Gotta have something to do with it.

Any thoughts from the rest of the flist?

~ + ~

Re: “Buffy v Dracula” @ 10.47pm

“You are strange and off-putting. Go now.” Bwahahaha! Loved that bit. You hear that the guy who played Dracula used to be in All My Children with SMG?

“that whole scene at the end with the green energy cloud forming into Dawn?”

Yeah, that’s just weird. Maybe she’s been kidnapped by aliens? Lol

~ + + ~

Re: “Buffy v Dracula” @ 10.52pm

Maybe she’s been kidnapped by aliens? Lol

Like we’d be that lucky…

~ + ~

How long before the inevitable Buffy/Dracula ship fics appear? The Anyone-But-Riley groups will love that ep. :P

Personally, liked the ep, and it looks like Joss has thought of something to do with Dawn this year, rather than the constant sending her back and forth to her father plotline.


(LiveJournal comments at the start of season 5)

Comments

Posted by: Tara (elementalv)
Posted at: March 23rd, 2006 03:09 am (UTC)

EEEEEEE-VVVULLLLLLL...

Posted by: Sentimental yet sardonic (booster17)
Posted at: March 23rd, 2006 03:17 am (UTC)
Fantasia re-mix

That mean you want to see more of "Dawn the Vampire Smasher"?

Posted by: a complicated brain event (shehasathree)
Posted at: March 23rd, 2006 05:10 am (UTC)

Posted by: Sentimental yet sardonic (booster17)
Posted at: March 23rd, 2006 01:07 pm (UTC)
Booster Stylish [wildecate]

Thank you!

Posted by: curiouswombat (curiouswombat)
Posted at: March 23rd, 2006 05:10 am (UTC)
Ten YearDawn&Spike

Aargh! Wonderful stuff - must go look for dawn the Vampire Slasher right away...

Posted by: Sentimental yet sardonic (booster17)
Posted at: March 23rd, 2006 01:08 pm (UTC)
Bjork

*blink* That conjures up a whole new vision of badness.... Hee!

Posted by: curiouswombat (curiouswombat)
Posted at: March 23rd, 2006 01:23 pm (UTC)
meek moon

I only realised what I'd said after I'd posted - and you're right - it is an even more disturbing thought than actually finding that someone had written 'Dawn the Vampire Smasher'!

Posted by: Sentimental yet sardonic (booster17)
Posted at: March 23rd, 2006 01:31 pm (UTC)
Snakes! On a Plane!

I'd got as far as imagining Dawn locking various vampires in the same closet (so to speak) until they came out... ;)

Posted by: SaraJo (_ashestobeauty_)
Posted at: March 23rd, 2006 06:14 am (UTC)
Tony WTF by texaslonestar

And here I thought I couldn't possibly be anymore disturbed. It was one thing when I thought that Vampire Smasher thing was the only bit you'd done.

I'd go back to sleep to try and forget it all, but I'm afraid I'd have nightmares...

Posted by: Sentimental yet sardonic (booster17)
Posted at: March 23rd, 2006 01:28 pm (UTC)
Jesus

You should know I can always be more disturbing.

Wait, that came out wrong.

Posted by: SaraJo (_ashestobeauty_)
Posted at: March 23rd, 2006 01:30 pm (UTC)

No, sounds about right to me...

*G*

Posted by: Marcus L. Rowland (ffutures)
Posted at: March 23rd, 2006 07:23 am (UTC)

Magic!

Posted by: Sentimental yet sardonic (booster17)
Posted at: March 23rd, 2006 01:29 pm (UTC)
Boromir shiny

Thanks!

Posted by: houses (houses7177)
Posted at: March 23rd, 2006 08:25 am (UTC)
Old School Cool

How absolutely charming! LOve the variety in how you chose to showcase her existence. I think my favorite exchange is about claiming the axe with Angel. Too cute.

Posted by: Sentimental yet sardonic (booster17)
Posted at: March 23rd, 2006 12:38 pm (UTC)
Bjork

Kinda sad, but I still chortle helplessly whenever I see 'stabbity'. :D Thanks, houses.

Posted by: houses (houses7177)
Posted at: March 23rd, 2006 12:51 pm (UTC)
Ohm

Stabbity is an excellent word.

Posted by: bastardsnow (bastardsnow)
Posted at: March 23rd, 2006 08:41 am (UTC)
key girl

Dude, this whole thing rocks. I love the way you've displayed it all in different formats, different 'websites' and everything. Just great. Well done.

Posted by: Sentimental yet sardonic (booster17)
Posted at: March 23rd, 2006 01:58 pm (UTC)
Snakes! On a Plane!

I'd been kicking around a vague idea of just would have happened in seasons 1-4 if Dawn had been there, for some time now. Then on Monday for some reason, the episode guide entry came into my head, and then the whole concept of all the different types quickly followed. Just one of those moments where two different ideas hit and become greater together.

Posted by: mymatedave (mymatedave)
Posted at: March 23rd, 2006 03:12 pm (UTC)

Brilliant stuff, all very authentic, especially "Dawn the Vampire Smasher." And BTW, your Jesus and Diddy/Bjork icons are terrific.

Posted by: yourlibrarian (yourlibrarian)
Posted at: March 23rd, 2006 06:11 pm (UTC)
DawnMoth: slaytastic

Came over from the su_herald. Clever idea!

Posted by: Julie Frost, SFF writer (agilebrit)
Posted at: March 23rd, 2006 09:27 pm (UTC)
Zen Penguin Dance

Hee! That's awesome.

Posted by: solar powered anticipation machine (moireach)
Posted at: March 24th, 2006 07:49 am (UTC)
flukes

Okay, what an awesome idea, and so unusual -- metafic or something! This made me all wistful for a reality where this is real; especially the interview with Hank, about baby!MT's acting skills and all the family tension.

Posted by: cordelianne (cordelianne)
Posted at: March 24th, 2006 10:38 pm (UTC)
Buffy Hee

Here via the Herald. What an interesting and fun idea! I liked how Dawn's later shoplifting was linked to Faith in you fic (meta-fic?). You did a really great job of parodying representing the various "sources".

Posted by: Chris (cgilmore)
Posted at: March 28th, 2006 03:48 pm (UTC)

This was brilliant.

Oh, the Vampire Smasher bit? You spelled "summary" correctly. Totally ruined the moment for me - that kind of fic usually goes with "summery" or similar. =p

Posted by: Elizabeth Scripturient (the delinquent, ecumenical (hermionesviolin)
Posted at: May 5th, 2006 08:28 am (UTC)
taken out of context

What a great comment, and format. Well-executed.

Posted by: Sentimental yet sardonic (booster17)
Posted at: May 5th, 2006 05:50 pm (UTC)
Snoopy Magneto

Thank you - it was a lot of fun, both to conceive and actually write. Would that all were so... :)

Posted by: Episkopos Rev. Alixtii O'Krul V, TRL (alixtii)
Posted at: March 22nd, 2007 10:50 am (UTC)

Hee!

Posted by: Another Girl (septembergrrl)
Posted at: March 29th, 2007 03:16 pm (UTC)
lil death dream

Wow -- great format, and you pulled it of really well. I enjoyed this a lot.

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